Sticking it to the…er, man

Know what really pisses me off? I'll tell you what really pisses me off: anti-tamper. That’s what really pisses me off!

At least, it’s fair to say I become somewhat annoyed when confronted by a fastener for which I have no sensible tool or method of attack.

In fact, over the years, I’ve collected together a small armoury of what our transatlantic cousins call ‘doodads’ (or maybe that’s just Stewie of Family Guy) – the bent spanners, screwdrivers twisted through impossible angles, sharpened files, bolts with other bits welded on…well, you get the idea. The adapted tools to get you out of a tight corner when your strip-down grinds to a halt cos the best Haynes can suggest is a factory tool part number.

Such a doodad is presented here: the Keihin anti-tamper pilot screw man sticker designed to stick it to emissions regulatory bodies, the reincarnated Triumph and Mr (or possibly Ms) Keihin, manufacturers of carburettors – ‘the man’, all.

Doesn’t look like much but it’s the mechanical manifestation of fuck you…

You’ll remember in an earlier outing at Mondo I mentioned the Hinckley Bonneville Scrambler, a handsome machine that, for various reasons (and in my opinion) was frankly, shit.

Saddled with a pair of Keihin carbs, the bike couldn’t be left for more than a few days without silting up these instruments and refusing to start or else run properly – I’m exaggerating, but only a little… Worse, when attempting to adjust them you’d encounter idle mixture screws located in plugged recesses and then, having prized out the plugs, topped with anti-tamper D-shaped heads requiring a special bit (available, but not in your local tool shop).

I rarely require an excuse to buy a tool of any description but I baulk at the unnecessary necessity of it, if you get my drift. A simple slotted screw would work perfectly and these D-shaped horrors exist only because some git in charge has decided that you can’t add to the world’s store of atmospheric hydrocarbons by messing with the mixture, probably while signing off the document passing it into law in the back of a four-litre limousine with bullet-proof glass.

Fortunately, if your Hinckley Bonnie variant (or Keihin-equipped bike) is stuck for want of a bit of tweaking and you can’t find the necessary tool under ten quid, making one yourself is as easy as acquiring a bit of copper pipe…

…6mm OD copper pipe that is. A few centimetres is all you need so toddle off to B&Q and buy the smallest quantity available. Cut a length about 40mm, slide one end onto the jaws of a pair of needle-nosed pliers and, using a small hammer, tap a flat on one side. Gently does it, cos you want to retain the shape but add a flat thereby creating a D profile.

The finished tool

Squish the other end to give you some means to turn the tool. I drilled the squished end and added a small set screw with a couple of nuts to make using the tool dead easy.

That’s it. Remove the plugs/cappings if they’re in place, shove the tool up the orifice and turn the mixture screws to your heart’s content. I won’t offer likely settings because your bike/experience will differ.

And now it only remains to paint your fuel tank with the stars and stripes and you’ll be just like Captain America, sticking it to the man…